A Brief History of Time Sea 7 States

Sea 7 States might just be the most popular local Knoxville band nobody remembers.

For much of 1985 -1988, they regularly drew upwards of 200 fans to a typical show. Gigs evolved into happenings. You got the sense that people went to see Sea 7 States more to be seen than to see.  In those heady pre-Nirvana days, it was still cool to dance to alternative college rock, and Sea 7 States could pump up a liquored crowd. Singer Jon Parker was fond of telling dancers: “The drunker we get, the better you sound.”  To encourage outrageous dancing, the band awarded 12-packs of imported beer.

Formed in a cabin in Lake Louden’s woods in 1985 by Parker, Philip Wolff (guitar), and Brett Norton (drums), Sea 7 States took its name from their hometown tourist trap Rock City, which swore you could “see seven states” from its peak on Lookout Mt., Chattanooga. The name encapsulated their musical approach: life as tourism, a collection of unverifiable claims of revelation colored by surrealism.

The three freshmen began playing local shows in 1982 as the Senators at Buttonwood Café, Gabby’s, and Vic n Bill’s (original location).  At Buttonwood the Senators met their future bass player, Kevin Crothers. They formed Sea 7 States States in 1986 with the demise of Crothers’ and Taoist Cowboy-to-be Scott Carpenter’s band The Homeboys.

Sea 7 States already had songs “William Down the Hill” and “Chattanooga Is A Military Town” in regular rotation on WUTK in fall 1986 when an offer to play a live studio show fell into their laps from a DJ friend of Crothers (who himself DJ’ed WUOT’s “Unradio”). The band’s prime directive instantly became: Follow the path of least resistance.

Arguably due to an unrepeatable confluence of coincidences, their popularity continued to grow.  The undying love of regular Daily Beacon writers Jody Lentz and jovial Cajun Anthony Favre -- for whom they could do no musical wrong -- led to loads of press and regular photo spreads in the Weekend Entertainment section.

“A must-see performance,” one review intoned. “The neo-hipsters that populate the crowd are a clear indication of the band’s artistic appeal. Vintage paisley, long hair on guys and short hair on girls (preferably with rattail) are the general looks of the crowd, but the single requirement is ‘ya gotta dance.’ And it’s practically unavoidable.”

Ah, the ‘80s.

“Crothers’ bass lines were spine-tingling as they throbbed through the bar,” Lentz wrote in one review, unwittingly coining Crothers’ everlasting alias, “The Spinetingler.”

With the prospect of playing before Ed McMahon in September 1986, Sea 7 States entered the “Service Merchandise Battle of the Bands” held at the Round-Up Club off Strawberry Plains. Playing to a red-eyed country-western and heavy metal crowd, they surprised even themselves when they won by sheer force of fan response. (They were later unceremoniously displaced during Round Two in Chattanooga by a cover band wearing matching white lab coats.)

Idiots themselves when it came to promotion, Sea 7 States stumbled onto paydirt when Parker’s then-girlfriend and Whittle-ite Carol Farrar designed those recurring flyers with the instantly recognizable light-bulb graphic. The flyers became dorm-room collectables and were so pervasive and archetypal to The Strip that the Daily Beacon comic strip “Stoners Aquarium” by Ron Ruelle regularly featured Sea 7 States flyers on a background telephone pole.

Marty Funderlick and a few other fanatical fans took to The Hill with a megaphone on Friday afternoons, promoting Sea 7 States shows dressed as Gumby and David Letterman. People flocked to shows as to a car wreck, to rubberneck.

Sea 7 States played regularly at the U-Club, Laurel Theatre, Cityside and Michael’s (on Market Square Mall). They played Cityside so often that its owners gave Parker his own key for opening and setting up. Sea 7 States might well have been Cityside’s house band, although the owners did eventually wise up and start hiding the bottled beer and coolers before those afternoons the band was slated to set up.

Eventually crowds got so large that marketing guru Funderlick cut the middleman and conceived his own shows in Fort Sanders back alleys between 12^th and Clinch -- huge roped-off events affectionately dubbed “Alley Parties,” which escalated geometrically in spectacle. The parties eventually included tequila shots in a barber's chair synchronized to crowd chanting, dubbed “the complete package.” Sea 7 States wholly approved of these marketing tactics, as they joyously cultivated subversion anyway, so long as it didn’t require considerable effort on their part.

They consistently “disturbed the peace” at local outdoor parties. When Knoxville’s Finest made their inevitable appearance and told the band, “One more and that’s it,” Sea 7 States would pick a closing number they could play ad nausea, until the police would grumble “How long is this damn song, anyway?”

Always game for anything smacking of camp, Sea 7 States accepted an invitation to model an ad for a “Snicker’s New Music Search” in Whittle Communications Fall 1987 issue of Campus Voice magazine.

Sea 7 States emphasized lyrics and, unlike most local bands at the time, were unconcerned with coming across as pretentious. Their ability to drink themselves to stupor while singing about Tennyson or Odysseus approached a sort of Zen. Their fans drank right along with them. Their song “Ice Age” was published in Phoenix, the University of Tennessee’s literary arts magazine, Vol 28 No. 3, spring 1987. When the band realized that crowd noise ate much of their lyrical content, they took to strewing lyric sheets across venue tables, maybe the first local band to do so.

Norton left UTK for the real world in 1988. He was replaced by incoming freshman Todd Eaton, already a regular at Sea 7 States shows. Eaton introduced himself at an AEPi show as a drummer who just happened to be “your biggest fan.” Eaton had drummed with as-yet-unknown-Taoist Cowboy Bob McCluskey in The Neato Cogs in Martin, TN. McCluskey later made his Knoxville debut opening for Sea 7 States at Cityside. Judybats, What Alice Found, and Awfully Anglo were favorite openers around this time.

Parker invited Eaton for a jam session, and the band asked him to join that same day when he came already knowing all the songs. Once again, the path of least resistance led upward and onward.

They set Eaton’s drums in the flatbed of an old pickup and immediately began to promote their new line-up by driving up and down Kingston Pike. As Eaton and his kit slid back and forth in the pickup bed with each turn, Parker announced upcoming shows with a megaphone to Eaton’s rhythmic accompaniment. Cherokee Trail (no doubt housing not a single fan) was regularly disturbed by this nightmarish vision. Amazingly, the group was pulled over only once and given a warning.

Sea 7 States was in communication with U2’s label promoters that summer, who at the time were investigating starting an American indie label called Mother Records. Sea 7 States sent them a demo tape, and a reply followed from Britain demanding reimbursement for postage due and calling them a “diamond in the rough.” But Mother Records never came through.

That same summer, Mr. Lu, owner of the Strip’s China King, approached Wolff, who lived just behind the restaurant in a typical-of-the time Ft. Sanders subdivided house on 19^th Street. China King had decided to host bands, Mr. Lu told him, and wanted Sea 7 States to break the ice. Wolff tried repeatedly to warn Mr. Lu that the band scene would nothing but heartache for his restaurant. But Mr. Lu saw only potential revenue.

As the bands and their followings got rowdier and rougher, new hand-written signs would appear from time to time taped to China King’s walls. You could read entire unfortunate scenarios between the lines of these signs. “No Outside Food or Drink...Don't Try to be Sneaky!” was one of the first to appear, followed soon after by, "No beer allowed to take out building," and "no slam dancing!" (posted on the ceiling above the dance floor).

Eventually, with the promise of a legitimate record contract on the horizon, Sea 7 States began touring out of town in winter 1989, their favorite show being a Thanksgiving gig in Johnson City. The booking agent didn’t happen to mention that all the students had left East Tennessee State University campus for the holidays. The audience consisted of the bartender. Disillusioned, Eaton left the band shortly thereafter.

Sea 7 States’ third and final drummer was Greg Morton, nicknamed “Flat” by band members for his ability to fart at will. Sea 7 States retooled themselves (much like Spinal Tap Mach III) and played regularly at Ella Gurus and Planet Earth. But long-time fans had by now mostly moved away, and Sea 7 States’ 15 minutes of fame were ticking towards the 14^th minute. They opened for the bands who had once opened for them.

You know your childhood is over when you start to pull your Hot-Wheels Play Set out of the closet, but change your mind when you realize how much trouble packing all that crap back in the box will be. In short, the band’s childhood was over. The path of least resistance, faithfully followed for seven years to a drunken cast of thousands, dead-ended in the basement of Planet Earth the summer of 1989.

Sea 7 States did play one final outdoor party in Maryville, and 911 calls quickly dispatched the county sheriff due to reports of “loud noises disturbing my cows.” Sadly, this was to be the last time the authorities were called on their account.

Parker and Wolff continued to do studio tracks for a while, recording a few tunes with Judybats members Jeff Heiskell, Ed Winter, and Peggy Hambright under the name Fat Albert Einstein. One such song (a tongue-in-cheek jab at Taoist Cowboys tune “Summer in NY”) was Wolff’s “I Feel like Lou Reed,” which got heavy airplay on WUTK. Another tune at that time, “Do the backstroke,” also received heavy rotation. Wolff went on to co-found the post-punk group Self Monster, as well as playing in Joy Buzzard, Bedspins, and Smoothie on a Stick. He currently currently lives in DC.

Following the demise of Sea 7 States, Kevin Crothers and Greg Morton formed The Thirteenth Generation with singer Michelle Harris and guitarist Dan King. Crothers later relocated to Charlotte, NC where he released several albums with the band Major Nelson.  He currently lives in Charleston, SC, where he is a member of gLaZe. He recently returned to Knoxville to engineer the debut album by ex-V-roys The Faults.

Greg Morton lives in Friendsville, TN.

After the dissolution of Fat Albert Einstein, Jon Parker returned to Chattanooga, TN.

After spending time away in graduate school, Dr. Todd Eaton returned to Knoxville.

 To all our fans who remember, and to those who’ve long ago forgotten, thanks for a youth well-spent.

 Or spent, anyway.